Cutted Off

OK, I feel way better since last time. And I've been sorta clean...

I am tired, and feel like I don't have emotions. Its a strange feeling, don't know how to express it. Haven't been doing much with myself this week except the work thing, fortunately we are busy, so I can keep my mind off any negative thoughts.

I have to work again tomorrow, so it gives me a great excuse to to go to the memorial service. I've never been to one of those, or even a funeral, as a matter of fact. I also don't have anyone who'll go with me, so its better that way. I might go up to the Thule hotel for a drink, since that is the last place we went to socially before he got involved in the woman who is now his widow.

Anyway, I am just sick and tired, so very, very tired. Wish I could sleep the whole weekend. Might just do that after work tomorrow.

I'm cut off from the world since my cell phone is broken...no smsing!!! I feel lost.

At times like these I always want to be somewhere far away, where I don't know anyone and where no one can contact me. But everytime that happened in the past I ended up getting really sozzled and inviting everyone over!!! I don't make sense. Not even to myself. How the fuck should anyone else understand me.